Water Bug

My little water bug.

It's 4:00 in the morning and I am wide awake. (Have not fallen asleep yet - I haven't turned into my father quite yet, and probably never will when it comes to sleep habits!) I figured I would post this adorable picture of A from the pool Friday. We had such a blast. Yesterday we had a cookout with Christopher. He made us hamburgers and we had corn on the cob and green beans (ours grilled, A's boiled) and some delicious type of ice cream bar for dessert (A's choice). Then we sat on the deck under the umbrella and read Horton Hears a Who and Tulip Sees America. It's amazing to me the transition this child has undergone in ten months.

She is so curious about my relationship with Chris. She asks if she is invited to the wedding, and if so - why they haven't received a "note" in the mail. Then "are you going to kiss Christopher on the lips at the wedding?" "Are you and Christopher going to have babies?" Whoa. Easy there tiger!! One thing at a time! I did talk to her about possibly reading a small poem at the wedding since her literacy growth has happened before our very eyes and both Christopher and me love to hear her read. She thinks she might be too nervous but I told her to think on it. :)

After lunch we worked on a photo project for her mom and dad (they were on vacation in Canada) and then walked to the local elementary school and played on the playground together. I don't think the equipment was made for 27 year olds...that's for sure. We had a great time the past few days and it was nice to have an excuse to be outside all day!! Steph and Rosie came over for dinner and to drop some things off and we had a great visit.

Later today Joey, Robin and I are headed to the Green Valley book fair. I'm super excited but wish I had a specific age range of children to look for!! But I can always help Robin (2nd) and Joey (kindergarten) find books for their classrooms.

Well - it seems my sleep aid is beginning to take effect so off I go. More later today or tomorrow!

Hayden's New Best Friend Annie

Annie came over to play yesterday, so I thought it would be a fun idea to have Hayden over as well - a little girls' day. Matty has been getting very little work done due to the puppy, Annie has four golden retrievers so she loves dogs, and we needed someone to test out our fenced in backyard before Rosie moves in. The girls had a great time running in circles. I'll bet they both slept very well last night...

Hayden discovers pink shoes taste even better than black ones.

Don't get mad at me! I'm just burrowing in this hole with a girly shoe!

Hayden's newest admirer.

Playing keep away with the creepy ceramic dog that came with our house.

Look at all the baby muscles go!

Hayden almost caught her!

Now that's love.

Hugs for Annie.

P.S. Thank you for all the prayers. Please keep them coming. Today was another tough day so we need all we can get. xoxo.

Daily Struggle

As many of you know, the past few months have been pretty difficult for me. Although many wonderful things have occurred (e.g. graduation), the fact that I still do not have a job is really starting to take its toll on me.

Oh, Mins, why? Why bring down the beautiful wedding blog into a hole of depression?! I know, I know. Just bear with me for one post... Three years ago, my life came to a screeching halt when I admitted myself to the hospital for the treatment of an eating disorder. During my three month stay, I came to the realization that although I looked happy, healthy and successful on the outside, on the inside I was falling apart. Trying to balance school with depression and anxiety that I was unaware I had, one day I just broke. Thank God for Sheppard Pratt Center for Eating Disorders and the amazing women who helped me finally determine that I didn't really want to be an engineer. I just wanted the prestige of being an engineer. I wanted to be perfect on the outside and found out that perfection is not humanly possible. I eventually made a VERY difficult decision to leave behind a potential job with Amazon and a pending PhD to become a school teacher. I could have saved a LOT of school debt had I come to that realization in undergrad.

During the three years since I left the hospital, I have done everything feasible to become the best teacher I could possibly be. I read professional literature during my free time, a large chunk of my salary (probably much to Chris's demise) goes to buy children's literature, educational charities, and to simple fabric to make classroom pillows. All summer I have prepped for interviews - practiced answering questions, reading back over my schoolwork, creating mock-up behavior charts and communication systems to put into a portfolio. And yet, nothing...

Everyone I talk to tells me to keep my head up. "Don't worry, lots of teachers get hired in July and August," or the reassuring "would it be the worst thing in the world if you didn't get to teach for another year?" I may sound like a drama queen, but yes. Yes it would be horrible. I have sacrificed so much to get to where I am today. I admit, I have received so many rewards because of those sacrifices (Christopher, education...), but there are days when I look at the three degrees hanging on my wall and think - why did I even do this? I'm a scholarship recipient, I work at a preschool literacy research lab, I run my own tutoring business, I spend all my time, effort and money to educate children, and none of it seems to be worth anything right now.

I know that many people are struggling with unemployment right now and watching their dreams go down the drain. I suppose I'm lucky that I didn't lose a job - I just have yet to gain one. But it is increasingly difficult to put on a happy face and pretend that something will come around when it's "meant" to. It's getting harder and harder to manage my anxiety disorder when my stomach is in a constant knot and I am just so sad that I haven't been hired. All year I looked forward to this summer. I thought it would be so great - visiting friends, planning the wedding, and preparing for the school year. All I want is to look at curriculum guides and SOLs, prepare lessons and pacing guides and use my free time to think about how I'm going to incorporate certain books into lessons. And I'm not there. Maybe it's not time for me to be, maybe God has a better job in mind or something will eventually arise but it is so...hard... watching everyone around you land fabulous positions, only to find out you haven't even made the cut for a 2-day-long interview session.

At this point I guess I'm just asking for prayers. And if you don't pray - maybe just thoughts. Each day gets more difficult when all you want to do is help educate children and you can't. Our house is a disaster... that's when it's really bad. My close friends know that when things are a little bad I clean and organize obsessively. When things start to get harder, I shut down. It's like my anxiety takes over and everything seems so big and impossible.......

I know my life is wonderful, Christopher and my family and friends are wonderful. I am having difficulty feeling wonderful right now. If you've gotten this far, thank you for reading. I hope I didn't elicit a depressing feeling nor pity. It's hard for me to put on this on the blog for everyone to read but I'm hoping that maybe the more people praying, the more quickly I'll feel better.

Thank you to everyone who has listened to this rant over and over and over during the past few months. Thank you for your kind words and support... especially Mama, Daddy, Bubby, Chris, Q, Joey, Robin, Morgan, Matty, and Peggy.

Fabric purchased to make pillow covers for my safari-themed classroom library.

Summa Summa Summa Tiiiime

My little green friend. Look how his legs are
poking into the petals.

I love summer. It is such a wonderful time of year. Kids have off school, teachers have off school, you can eat on the deck, take late night walks, and swim in the pool. Christopher and I moved into our house last August so we were not here to witness the beautiful flowers of all shapes and sizes that bloom in the early summer. Annie's mom Martha always comes and tells me the names, but I never remember. I just know that I love them. :-)

Some type of hydrangea. This is what I want my bouquet to be, but pink. All pink hydrangeas and nothing else.

These pretty little buggers grow on vines that have taken over our sidewalk area. We cut them all down at the end of last summer and they shot right back up again this year. More bloom each day - they're all over our neighborhood.

Now that Christopher is on more of a normal work schedule (he worked EVERY SINGLE NIGHT for three weeks straight) I have made the executive decision that we are going to start having sit-down dinners the two nights he is home in the evening. One can be a family dinner (that means us + Robin) and then one has to be just the two of us. We started last night by having grilled chicken, grilled veggies, rice - all sorts of goodies. Here's our girl showing off her cooking skills! (She really just grabbed the tongs for the photo....)

I love how Christopher looks like he's going to whack her - and even better, looks like he's sporting a comb-over.

Grilled veggies on the new veggie-griller thinga-ma-bobber that Mama and Daddy got me for graduation. YUM!

A happy Robo.

Tonight Christopher and I had London Broil, corn on the cob, potatoes and green beans. (Hospital habits die hard... 1 protein, 2 starches, and a veggie). It was delicious. Then I forced him to walk the neighborhood with me. It was fabulous. Although most of my summer has been bottled up in job-search frustrations, today was a great reminder of why this season is so fun. :-)

Introducing... HAYDEN!

It is my honor to introduce, the one, the only, Lady Basil Hayden of Charlottesville - the newest addition to the Burkett family!! Hayden is Matty's new puppy - he picked her up at the airport last night and I popped by to check on them today. (Hey, us girls need to take care of each other - living with Matty could be dangerous!)

Hayden snuggling up to Matty as we left the park.

I am a big girl sitting in the park a whole six feet away from my daddy!

Ok, it might be just a LITTLE scarier than I thought - I better hang by these smelly toes I love so much... just to be on the safe side.

Who are all these people in my park? They weren't here earlier!

Hm.. hello Auntie Mins. You smell like Ralph Lauren Blue and tortilla chips.

Some girl time.

It looks comfy in this little space - I think I'll crawl right in!

Auntie Mins, I love you - here are some kisses to prove it.

I swear I was just trying to nibble some grass - I have no idea how it got stuck up there!

Ok, now it's rush hour and I see lots of cars... Back to my daddy.

Yes I AM pretty, thank you for noticing.

I'm going to be SUCH a chick magnet for my dad. Girls dig big dudes carrying little cute puppies. I NEED A MOMMY!

I could fit in my food bowl... SWEET! Bring a whole new meaning to 'you are what you eat.'

Love me while I'm little, because I won't stay this way long!!

Goodbye High School!

Seth and his eyebrow

Kendre

Christopher and I spent Friday, Saturday, and Sunday with his family in Surf City, NC to celebrate his niece and nephew's graduation from high school. It was so nice - we spent two full days with his parents, his sister Terri, brother-in-law Kes (my first time meeting!), his sister Kathy, brother-in-law Matt, and my soon-to-be-nieces and nephews: Kendre, Seth, Alyce, Molly, and Maddie.

Terri and Christopher

We were able to go to the beach for a couple hours each day. Saturday, Chris and I went in the morning before the twins' graduation party and then the whole crew went Sunday morning before the big thunderstorm. (This would be the day Kendre taught me to ride a body board and pulled me into a wave, sending me flying to shore and consequently almost taking out two nice ladies who were simply minding their own business...)

Maddie at graduation

The party was great - Alyce was back on her feet (she had oral surgery on Friday and when we got there she was really out of it, to say the least) and there were a lot of family and friends that came. The food was amazing and there was a ton of it. After loading myself up on hamburgers and taco dip, I took a QUICK nap to sleep off a headache and we headed to graduation. Both Seth and Kendre were loaded with decorations - graduating 3rd and 6th in their class, respectively. Seth will be heading to the Air Force Academy in a couple weeks and Kendre will be attending NC State in the fall. They're both so smart... After a million photos we went to a great little "seafood" joint. I will not eat anything that once lived in water so I knew this would be a challenge. There was ONE item on the menu I would eat.. fillet it was. We took a post-dinner trip to Food Lion to stock up on cereal (yum), milk (necessity), good coffee (necessity) and some type of lemon lime seltzery thing that Matt mixes with orange juice to create his "refreshing drink."

Maddie, "Aunt Kristi," and Molly

Sunday we were all up early again. Ok, everyone else was up early, they let me sleep until 9:30. The Hartwells know me well already, I just cannot do mornings. We hit the beach, played in the sand and waves, and Kendre made a mermaid out of Molly. A huge storm came through afterwards and we had a big dinner and then Christopher and I had to leave to head back to Charlottesville. It was a great weekend -- thanks so much to Terri and Kes and we are so so so so proud of Kendre and Seth!! :-) Here are some more photos from the weekend...

We're Home!

At Kendre and Seth's graduation

It was a short, but super fun weekend in Surf City, North Carolina with Christopher's family. We got home about 1:45 this morning and are finally starting to wind down. I'll post more on the trip tomorrow, along with some fun family pictures. :-) Thanks to the Kes family for putting us up for the weekend and congrats again to the graduates!

Heading South for the Weekend

A lot of things have been happening around the Minsterman-Hartwell homestead the past week - and nothing has been happening all at the same time. We got a Bowflex which is super fun. Christopher has been LONGING for one and since I got my camera we decided Bowflex for him! We found a used (barely) one on Craig's List for really really cheap and he loves it. Currently it is sitting in our dining room since it was a little large to get up the stairs to his office without first being dismembered. He says he's going to get me using it - apparently my huge guns no longer impress him. ;-) So now we have an elliptical (thanks mama and daddy!) and a Bowflex and all that's left is a spare room to put them in! You would think that with four bedrooms and two people that wouldn't be difficult. We work from home.

Speaking of homes, my brother has been looking at purchasing a house and found one he really likes. Keep him in your thoughts, this would be a great thing for him!

I had an interview last week at an elementary school in town. The post-interview anticipation has been ripping me apart and I've been a tad bit...sullen, cranky perhaps, moody, you name it - I've been it. I should have some more news tomorrow but most likely that I will have to wait longer to hear. Thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers.

Later today (since it's technically Friday now I suppose), Christopher and I are heading to Wilmington, North Cac-a-lac-a to see his niece and nephew graduate from high school. (Twins run through the mother right????) Kendre will be attending N.C. State and Seth is headed to the Air Force Academy. The whole Hartwell can will be gathered for the weekend, too bad its supposed to rain, they live right on the beach!! I'll be sure to take lots of photos to post when we get home!!

Congrats Kendre and Seth!! :-)

Happy Graduation Annie!

Today was the last day of school for Albemarle County and that means my little Annie is now officially a second grader. In honor of all her amazing work this year, we had a little "party" in tutoring with ice cream sundaes and graduation gifts. She wrote that her favorite thing about first grade was learning to read. :-) I love how well she reads as well! My little Anniekin who didn't even know her letter sounds when she came to school in the fall is now reading on a solid mid-second grade level. I gave her one of my graduation caps (since UVA forced me to take two even though I only walked once for my two master's degrees). She is such a great child and an amazing student. Annie is one of the reasons I'm dying to be a teacher. CONGRATS ON GRADUATING FIRST GRADE, ANNIEKINS!! Christopher and I love you!!

Me and my graduate.

Proud to be a second grader.

Miss Them Already

With Jake and Linds. :-)
(Just another bridesmaid taller than the bride!)

I have been home about three hours and I already miss the Ganeys. This is Jake's last week at St. Mark's and his championship baseball game is coming up soon. I had so much fun just hanging with Lindsey and Lori, and caught up on my late night chats with Tom. Thank you guys so much for everything. I love you all MORE.

On the way home I stopped at my cousin's to say hello and got a few shots of Sadie Quince and her friend eating popsicles. She did get on the phone to say "Hi Chrithtoffer." and then promptly told me she was finished. :-)

Pretty girl.

Off to "study" for my interview tomorrow. Fingers crossed and prayers up to Heaven because I really need a job.

Back Home Again

After weeks of waiting with bated breath, I finally made it to Maryland to visit Lindsey. It's always good to come back to the Ganey house because it truly is my second home. I love being here - I love the smell of the house, the different furniture, crazy Louie the beagle and the pounds of teenage snack food.

In the eight years I have known Lori, I have become part of her family. I stayed with the kids while her and Tom went to California to celebrate Lori's birthday, I was here for Lori's surgery a few years back, and I baby-sat Jake and Lindsey for the entire summer before I went off to grad school. Most importantly (to me), I lived here while I was in the hospital day program recovering from my eating disorder. I was admitted to the hospital May 31st, 2006, and wouldn't you know I was back in this house three years later. My treatment program was in Baltimore so I would drive from here to the hospital each day and then back home again. I had a little apartment downstairs and having Tom, Lori, Jake and Lindsey here each day made my time at the hospital much more bearable. They played a huge part in getting me to where I am today and I love every single one of them.

My Jakey boy.
Graduating from St. Marks this weekend and then headed to Dematha in the fall! So so so proud of him!!

We have had a great time since I arrived on Saturday, hanging out, watching movies and catching up on life. Today Lori and I went book shopping and found the best used books in the world. I went a little wild because they were all like fifty cents. :-)

Ok - update on my girl. Lindsey is doing great. You would never know she went through brain surgery two weeks ago. She's tired (obviously), but up and moving around just fine. She's herself, smiling and just being - Linds. We had a slightly traumatic incident on Saturday. When I walked in Lindsey was on the deck getting her hair cut by my old stylist Gionni. Because of lying on her back for so long while recovering, she had a MASSIVE knot in her hair that was impossible to remove. I'm not talking just a little knot - this was a huge HONKING knot. I've never seen anything like it. Anyhow, she had to get about 8 inches cut off and was understandably very upset. We got to commiserate together over the loss of hair and discussed what we could do to make it grow back faster. (I think she cut it just so she could be like me). HEHEHE. We decided that it would just take a little time to get used to our short hair.

This is courage. I chose to cut mine, this girl just survived brain surgery. She never ceases to amaze me with her bravery.

We spent time looking through bridal magazines and I was excited to get an email today saying that Lindsey's bridesmaid dress shipped and should be here on Wednesday. I'm so bummed I won't be here to see it arrive. I'm so blessed she agreed to be in the wedding - she'll look great in green. :-) While discussing wedding arrangements, Lori and I realized something really bizarre. We have the EXACT SAME engagement ring. Same exact band, same setting, same size diamond. The only difference is hers is white gold and mine is platinum. I have never seen anything like it - it was amazing. We decided our men have great taste and we are soul mates - ha! Tom bought Lori's just a few years ago and I remember oogling over it thinking "oh that's exactly what I've always wanted." How funny is that?!?!

Sunday while everyone napped, I ran over to campus to take some shots with my new camera. I miss Maryland's campus and I always get very nostalgic when I visit. I'm really looking forward to my OTHER friend Lindsey's wedding this coming July - she's getting maried at the Chapel. It will be great.

M-A-R-Y-L-A-N-D

This has been the greatest few days and I am so sad that I have to leave. I have an appointment on Wedesday that came up at the last minute so I have to head back home tomorrow morning. Christopher has been working like a little worker bee so I was going to stay a few more days and enjoy the time with Lori while she had off work. BUT, I'm sure I'll be back in no time...

Thank you again to everyone for your prayers. Lindsey looks amazing and she really is a miracle.